


every confession lingering on our bitten lips

by crystalleyes



Category: ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, a whole dump of angst, also the ice-skating outing was a date, but who isn't whipped for sunghoon, ft. ni-ki bestest boy, ft. ni-ki's videogame love, growing pains & pining, heeseung IS korea's it-boy, heeseung is whipped but he won't admit it, heeseung x sunghoon, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26842012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalleyes/pseuds/crystalleyes
Summary: Heeseung can't remember the way he'd thought of Park Sunghoon before. They'd always been good friends on I-Land, nothing more, not except for the one time Sunghoon had vouched for his leadership when no one else did, and maybe -- he can't remember -- his heart had skipped a beat. Just a rush of teenage hormones. Just -- you know, affection shared between the best of friends.-- ORheeseung has a reflection in an empty hallway after seeing sunghoon in different eyes. and, he realizes, maybe he doesn't have to build so many walls around himself after all.--a continuation after "of blushing boys, of second glances behind smokescreens". also a bit of a one-shot.
Relationships: Lee Heeseung/Park Sunghoon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	every confession lingering on our bitten lips

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to read "of blushing boys, of second glances behind smokescreens" first! 
> 
> part one:  
> ["of blushing boys, of second glances behind smokescreens"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26837431)

Heeseung can't remember the last time he felt this way.

Slowing to a crawl in the hallway, heaving between breaths, he allows himself a moment of head-throbbing reflection. Something that he hasn't done in a while.

Heeseung knows he's Korea's it-boy. Knows that he is, and has been ever since he appeared in the first episode, walking in a dense forest to reach I-Land with a backpack and a tie-dyed hoodie. He's seen the replays and reactions — not too many to inflate his ego, but enough. Producers and global fans alike constantly gaze starry-eyed at him, no matter what he's doing. Photographers eat up his leader-like poise. And, just like that, he's used to it. The attention.

And the cameras and surveillance, he knows, are all just for the footage. For the views. And although several of the other boys slipped up a couple times on-camera, which Mnet editors so gracefully snipped out like it never happened, Heeseung never lost his guard. Never stared too promiscuously at anyone, or spilled cereal milk in the kitchen, or tripped in any I-Cams.

But God, he wants to. Just let his guard down for once. Heeseung built walls upon walls around himself as a trainee just to be standing here, standing in these shoes, shutting out his mom and his brother and his childhood friends just to become the BigHit Ace. Hell, he hasn't known any sort of relationship in years, and he's forgotten the throbbing sensation of attraction on his temples. Forgotten that his heart could pound slowly for once.

Until this morning.

Heeseung drops to his knees, his lacy trim scratching the linoleum tiles. God, this outfit is warm. His head is drunk on that pretty boy's smile, on the tilt of his head as he asked him how his week had been. Park Sunghoon. Park Sunghoon. What is he feeling? He's being dramatic. After the I-Land finale, the members had had time to rest for just a week. What could have changed in the space of one week? Focus, Heeseung, he warns himself. You've got a promotion, a debut, fans to please —

Park Sunghoon. A boy who couldn't be captured in just one word, or even a couple hundred — goofy in one minute and graceful in the next, introverted and then loud, bashful and then poised. Who can't stand VR games but dances and flips spectacularly on solid water. A boy who loves everyone around him too deeply, and whom everyone unabashedly loves right back.

Heeseung can't remember the way he'd thought of him before. They'd always been good friends on I-Land, nothing more, not except for the one time Sunghoon had vouched for his leadership when no one else did, and maybe — he can't remember — his heart had skipped a beat. Just a rush of teenage hormones. Just — you know, affection shared between the best of friends.

And, of course, when Sunghoon nominated him for first place in those tests.

But — Heeseung bites his lip at that. What now? He isn't satisfied. He's never satisfied. He's always been praised for his skills — cultivated through years of constant training in near-isolation — and not his, you know, personality. He thinks he has a decent personality. He's not as firm of a leader as maybe K hyung or Jay, but he's still disciplined enough. And God, he wants Park Sunghoon to laugh at his jokes. What he would give to see that face light up solely because of him.

He would give everything.

Heeseung isn't a complicated guy, he knows. He usually gets what he wants, and if he doesn't, well, he swallows his pride and moves on. Doesn't give a second glance to anyone. But upon seeing Sunghoon this morning? He'd lost every inhibition, every careful trait in his body.

It flashes him back to that trio outing back on I-Land. Heeseung had dropped his guard right there, at the ice-skating rink, watching Sunghoon dance and dazzle on solid water. Upon watching that episode later, he had looked absolutely starry-eyed. He can't do that again. He has a reputation to uphold. Hell, the whole world is watching him. Watching them.

"Heeseung hyung?"

Illuminated by fluorescent lights, a boy in sequins stands before him. It's Ni-ki. Belatedly, Heeseung realizes he's been kneeling in the hallway for more minutes than he'd have liked. He doesn't want to be seen like this, so raw and stripped of dignity.

"Ni-ki, hey," Heeseung says. Gets up and dusts himself off. Tells himself to put up his idol front. After all, this is what he is, isn't it? "How was your week off? Played any new video games?"

The boy before him beams, his luminous face stretching to reveal pearly whites. "I did, actually. Battling ghosts and zombies. It's pretty fun.” He hesitates expectantly. “Can I — can I show you sometime, hyung?"

Heeseung cracks a grin despite himself. "Yeah. During our break?"

Ni-ki nods rapidly, and Heeseung impulsively wraps his arms around the boy. He's too young, he thinks. All eagerness and brilliance and hope. He'll burn out if he isn't careful. Idol life is far from sunshine and rainbows. Selfishly, he wants to take this boy under his wing, if only to have something to do with his spiraling mind.

He has promotions to do now. He has responsibilities and fans to meet, places to be. And hell if he wants to see Park Sunghoon's smile again — he'll have to just wait.

Keep waiting, Heeseung. Keep waiting.

**Author's Note:**

> oh, god. this was a whole emotional rollercoaster just to write. i......... hope i did both of them justice here. they're such fleshed-out characters on paper that it was impossible not to fall in love with them ;-; 
> 
> ft. ni-ki bestest boy towards the end...... i didn't do him enough justice so expect to see more of him? 
> 
> despite everything that was written, lee heeseung is actually a criminally complicated character to write. this man is ruining everyone. 
> 
> feedback is much appreciated!


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